how to turn down a second date

How to Turn Down a Second Date

When you are just starting out with dating, it can be quite exciting getting to meet lots of new single people. The idea of knowing how to turn down a second date probably doesn’t enter your head initially. But what if you don’t like the person or they just are not what you are looking for?

As the date comes to an end, the subject of a second date is likely to come up, you have no wish to see them again, but also you don’t want to hurt their feelings by rejecting them, so how do you turn down a second date kindly?

This is a skill that you will need to learn once you start dating. Not everyone you meet will be suitable for you and you will need to be ready and know how to turn down a second date before things have the opportunity to develop into something you don’t really want.

How to Turn Down a Second Date

Here are my tips on how to turn down a second date:

Honesty is always the best policy. If you don’t want another date, you must say so. If you agree to a second date when you know that you don’t want to take this relationship any further, then you are only prolonging the inevitable, you will have to turn them down at some point and the longer you allow it to go on, the harder it will be. The other person may feel differently to you and be getting false hopes, so it will become much harder to back away if he or she has formed an attachment to you. The majority of people will appreciate your honesty and will be very upset if you string them along for several dates and then let them down.


Try and formulate a plan in your mind before the date of what to say if things do not work out how you had hoped. Have a script in your mind and try and stick to it, this will help to stop you from saying the wrong thing due to nerves or backing out at the last minute.


Never make assumptions. It is easy to assume that you will be hurting the other person by turning them down. If the date didn’t go very well anyway, the chances are that the other person didn’t enjoy it either. They are probably worrying in the same way as you about how to turn down a second date.


Keep your tone friendly. Tell them nicely that you enjoyed getting to know them on your first date, thank them for coming, but say that you can’t see a future together for whatever reason. Wish them well and part on friendly terms, this will help to prevent any future hostility. You don’t have to give them any details as to why you don’t think you are compatible – just be as vague as you can be, that is okay, but do not be impolite or rude.


If you really can’t bring yourself to tell them face to face that you don’t want to see them again, write them a nice letter straight after the date, thanking them for their company, explaining that you don’t think you are compatible and wishing them well. Some people prefer to send a text message, but personally I think this is a bit impersonal and would recommend a bit more of a personal touch.


It is always best to be honest in all situations, things can easily get out of hand if you let them. It is far better to know how to turn down a second date and stick to your guns than to prolong a relationship that you know is not going anywhere from the start.


If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”