am I being used? being used in a relationship

Am I Being Used?

When looking for love, it can be difficult to know if the person you are dating is really serious about wanting a long-term relationship with you or are you just being used to fill in time until something better comes along? Perhaps little doubts keep springing into your mind for various reasons and you need to ask yourself the question – “Am I being used?”

There are some signs to look out for which will help you to decide whether your relationship is going anywhere or whether you are just being used.

Am I being used? – 6 signs to look out for:

  • He often cancels or puts off dates at the last minute or doesn’t ring or turn up when he said he would. This is a sign that he has better things to do than see you. You are obviously not no. 1 on his list of priorities.


  • His moods blow hot and cold – sometimes he is loving, pays you compliments and tells you how much you mean to him and other times he is quite cool and distant. When he is in a good mood, is it because he is trying to get round you because he wants something from you and then cooling off when he has got it? Someone who is supposedly in love with you should be happy to see you and be prepared to give and take.


  • He avoids being on his own with you. Does he always want to invite friends along when you suggest something for just the two of you or always want to be in the company of other people when you do anything? He could be trying to avoid too much close contact and this is his way of keeping you at arms length.


  • He is always asking for favours which he is not keen to return. Does he often ask to borrow money from you? Does he ask you to give him lifts in your car? Feed the cat? Get the shopping? If he is not happy to do the same for you, then there is a good chance that you are being used.


  • He avoids physical contact. Do you kiss, hold hands, have good sex? If he is always coming up with an excuse to avoid getting close, this is a sure sign that things are not right.


  • He tries to avoid talking about your relationship, often saying that “he doesn’t want to rush anything” or is  “confused”.  If you have been seeing each other for some time and things haven’t moved on at all in that time, then be cautious, he really isn’t intending to commit to you.


If you notice any of these signs in your relationship – watch out! You need to look a bit deeper and make sure that this partnership is really genuine – your initial thought “am I being used?” could turn out to be true.  Don’t waste your time on someone who does not treat you as an equal or who is obviously not looking for the same things as you are in a relationship.


If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”