Dating

What you Should NEVER do on facebook after a First Date

Facebook and first dates don’t mix, so make sure you don’t jeopordise a  potential new relationship by doing the wrong things.

Check out my guest article in digitalromanceinc e-magazine – What you should NEVER do on facebook After a First Date.

What you Should NEVER do on Facebook After a First Date

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

Love After Divorce – Are You Ready?

How do you know when you are ready to find love after divorce?  When a marriage breaks down, it is always a sad and difficult time, even if things haven’t been great between you for some time. Whatever the circumstances you will still need to give yourself time to adjust to your new way of life before jumping into a new relationship.

Love after divorce

You will be left with a huge space in your life and will most likely feel that you need to fill it as quickly as possible, but it could be a big mistake to look for love after divorce too soon, as your judgment may be seriously clouded. You could end up making bad choices and give yourself more pain and grief to deal with. It is never a good idea to meet someone on the rebound as you are likely to have issues that need dealing with first.

Time is a great healer, so it is important to give yourself time to grieve for your old relationship. Get over the anger and other emotional issues and allow yourself time to re-evaluate what you want out of life. It is unfair to start a new relationship when you are unable to move on from the previous one. Take time to nurture yourself, enjoy old interests or try some new ones, spend time with family and friends and enjoy just being you.

If children are involved, you also need to consider them and allow them time to grieve the loss of their old family life and adjust to a new way of life. This can take a long time as the decision to divorce was nothing to do with them. Introducing someone new into their lives at this stage can cause some very challenging behaviours, even for grown-up children, so for their sake, you must allow time.

Everyone is different in the way they deal with divorce and the issues that go with it, some people may be ready to move on and look for love after divorce within a year, others will take much longer, only you know how you feel. It is essential if you want your next relationship to be successful, that you have moved on and let go of the past. It is all too easy to carry old resentments forward and damage any future relationships.

When you feel ready to move on, it can be an exciting time embarking on the world of dating once again and signifies a new chapter in your life. Try and meet each date with an open mind and an open heart rather than comparing them to your ex. Remember nobody is perfect, we all have our good points and bad points, so judge each person on their own merits and give yourselves the chance to get to know each other. There is no rush to make a commitment, just concentrate on enjoying each others company and having fun together.  Love after divorce will happen, but take your time and make sure you get to know your new partner inside out before making a commitment.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

Why Can’t I Find Love?

Have you been looking for that “special person” for a while now, but been unable to find them?  You will be asking yourself “Why can’t I find Love?” and wondering if there is something wrong with you.

 

It is time to step back and take an honest look at your life and work out just what it could be that is getting in the way of you finding love. If you can’t find love there are a number of things that could be causing an issue – see whether any of these 5 things could be getting in the way:

 

Your career or job. Are you too devoted to your job? When you have no-one special in your life, it can be easy to let your working life take over to fill in the gaps. If you are always at work, it is not going to be possible to have the time to embark on a new relationship, let alone maintain one. You need to re-assess your priorities and make space for socialising and relaxation. No one wants to be with a workaholic! Don’t use work as an excuse to not get yourself out and meet some new people.

 

 

Your friends. Are you surrounding yourself with negative people? Sometimes your friends can unwittingly stop you from finding love, maybe they have had a bad experience in the past and are bitter towards the opposite sex. Their negative attitude could rub off on you making you feel the same when they are around. Maybe they behave badly or don’t dress well causing embarrassment – any of these things could stop you from attracting a mate. So have a truthful look at them and if you think it could be them holding you back, either find some new friends or try talking to your old ones.

 

Your home. Are you proud of your home? Is it clean and tidy or dirty, untidy and filled with clutter? Would you be happy to invite someone into your home right now? If the answer is no, then do something about it now. If you don’t have room for a person to come in to your home, then a relationship will have difficulty finding it’s way to you.

 

Your attitude. To attract love, you need to have a positive attitude. If you are always cynical and negative around the opposite sex and doubt that you will ever find that special person, then this negative attitude will show through in your general demeanour and will stop anyone from being attracted to you. Also if you show that you are desperate to find someone, this will also be off-putting. So try and be positive and stop worrying about finding “the one”, just concentrate on making the most of your life and be open to letting new people.

 

Your ex. Have you truly let go of your ex partner? You need to accept fully that the relationship is over so that you can move on to the next chapter in your life. It is very easy to cling on to the happy memories and forget all the bad things that happened when you have got nothing else good in your life. Let them go and make room for someone else.

 

Take a good look at your life and address any of these issues if you think any of them could be holding you back. Stop asking yourself that question “Why can’t I find love?” just make sure you are fully open to finding love – when you are, you may be surprised that love will find you.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

New Love for the New Year

The start of a new year is a good time to take a good look at your life and make changes.  If you have had enough of being on your own, now is the time to start looking for a new love for the new year.

If you don’t know where to start, then my book The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love with a Real Man in the Real World. is exactly what you need.  You will discover everything you need to know from preparing yourself to finding love, where to go, what to do and say to actually meeting the man of your dreams, going on dates and ultimately keeping him forever.

So make sure 2015 is a year to remember – the year when you find your new love for the new year.

I will be writing lots more articles as the year goes by, so please keep coming back to visit.  I’m looking forward to hearing about your success stories in finding your new love.

First Christmas Together – How to Handle it

First Christmas TogetherChristmas can be a stressful time, particularly when you are in a new relationship and this will be your first Christmas together. Though you will be looking forward to being together and enjoying yourselves, there may be issues that can cause immense pressure trying to keep everyone happy. It can also be an emotional time for you as you remember previous Christmases that may have happy with an ex partner or equally emotional if you remember unhappy times from the past.

If this is your first Christmas together, it is important to sit down together with your new partner and talk about how you both feel about Christmas and what your expectations are, what family commitments you each have and how you are going to combine them and work things together.

If one or both of you have children, then obviously they are the first consideration. It is very likely that at some point they are going to want to spend time with their other parent, so you will need to understand this. It is important to talk about this well in advance and have a plan so that the children, you and the ex all know what is going to happen and can get used to the idea of new routine.

If children are not an issue, there may be other commitments and traditions that you need to talk about and negotiate, for instance spending time with your partners family, going to church, going to the works party. These are all going to be new experiences for you both and you need to make sure that you know each others expectations to avoid last minute shocks and disappointments.

It may turn out that you are not going to be able to spend your first Christmas together on the day because of too many other commitments, if this is the case, why not choose another date to have your own Christmas day? You could start your own new tradition and have your Christmas dinner and exchange presents on a day when you are both free – this could become an annual event when you take time away from everyone else and celebrate the two of you being together.

Christmas very rarely lives up to its ideal for anyone, so accept the fact that it is not going to be perfect and will certainly never be the same as it used to be, so go with the flow and try and make some new traditions of your own. Find the bits that you both value and enjoy and make time to do them together.

Making a success of your first Christmas together will require some thought and planning in advance, but as long as you communicate with each other and can negotiate acceptable compromises, then there is no reason why you should not have a happy Christmas – it may not be the same is it used to be, but you will hopefully build on it year after year and start making your own happy memories.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

Am I Too Old to Start Dating?

Have you suddenly found yourself on your own again after a bereavement or divorce and cannot imagine meeting someone new and going out on a date? You may be asking yourself “Am I too old to start dating?”

But remember – Age is Just a Number – It’s Never too Late to Start Dating

No matter how old you are, there is no reason why you should not find someone special to share your life with.

 

Perhaps you feel that you are past it and that no-one will be interested in you. This is not the case.  When I was running my dating agency, my oldest member was in his 90’s.  I also had quite a number of men and women in their 70’s and 80’s, they all got plenty of dates.  Lots of mature people in your situation are  looking for that special someone to share their life with so there will always be plenty of potential mates for you to meet.

In fact you may find it easier to date as a mature person than you did as a youngster. This is true for a number of reasons:am I too old to start dating?

You know what you are looking for. You have had a lot of life experience that will help you to know what you want in a relationship and also what you don’t want. You have learned that personal qualities such as kindness, respect and generosity are far more important than material things in a happy, healthy relationship.

You are emotionally mature. You have learned how to see things from someone else’s point of view and be objective. You can keep in control of your feelings and not let irrational thoughts like jealousy get in the way. You can see things as they really are and accept a situation for what it is rather than letting your imagination run away with you.

You know yourself better. When you are young, you haven’t yet figured out who you are, what you want out of life and what your values are. Through the experiences that you have had in your life, you will have learned what your strengths and weaknesses are and learned different strategies for dealing with problems that you face. You will also have determined what you have to offer to someone else’s life and will be less likely to make extravagant promises that you may not be able to keep as you perhaps did when much younger.

You appreciate life more. As you mature, you are likely to have encountered loss and tragedy in your life, which makes you face up to your own mortality. Because of this, you are less likely to take people and things for granted and more likely to appreciate the good things in life. You will be more inclined to believe that a relationship doesn’t have to be 100% perfect to be happy and fulfilling.

Am I too old to start dating

You have a better understanding of human nature. Age and experience teaches you to accept that people have good and bad days. You don’t automatically assume that the whole relationship is wrong just because your partner is feeling negative about something at a particular time. You will have learned that feelings will pass once the negative emotions have been expressed and dealt with.

You have more time and financial freedom. When you are young there are many things that can get in the way of enjoying life – family, career, social life. As you get older, these demands are often less of an issue and you find yourself with time on your hands to do all the things you want to do. Having a partner to do things with can be great fun and can really enhance your life as you try new things together. You may also be lucky enough to be retired and financially secure which is an even greater bonus.

You will live longer. On a final note, scientific studies have shown that love can help you to live longer. Love can help to lower your blood pressure, keep your heart healthy and give you more emotional resources to overcome illness. Having someone special in your life will give you the motivation to recover.

So, don’t forget, when you ask yourself that question “Am I too old to start dating?”  The answer is a resounding “N0”.  You are NEVER too old to start dating. Life is what you make it and there is no reason why you shouldn’t have fun in a new relationship whatever your age.

 

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

Am I Being Used?

When looking for love, it can be difficult to know if the person you are dating is really serious about wanting a long-term relationship with you or are you just being used to fill in time until something better comes along? Perhaps little doubts keep springing into your mind for various reasons and you need to ask yourself the question – “Am I being used?”

There are some signs to look out for which will help you to decide whether your relationship is going anywhere or whether you are just being used.

Am I being used? – 6 signs to look out for:

  • He often cancels or puts off dates at the last minute or doesn’t ring or turn up when he said he would. This is a sign that he has better things to do than see you. You are obviously not no. 1 on his list of priorities.

 

  • His moods blow hot and cold – sometimes he is loving, pays you compliments and tells you how much you mean to him and other times he is quite cool and distant. When he is in a good mood, is it because he is trying to get round you because he wants something from you and then cooling off when he has got it? Someone who is supposedly in love with you should be happy to see you and be prepared to give and take.

 

  • He avoids being on his own with you. Does he always want to invite friends along when you suggest something for just the two of you or always want to be in the company of other people when you do anything? He could be trying to avoid too much close contact and this is his way of keeping you at arms length.

 

  • He is always asking for favours which he is not keen to return. Does he often ask to borrow money from you? Does he ask you to give him lifts in your car? Feed the cat? Get the shopping? If he is not happy to do the same for you, then there is a good chance that you are being used.

 

  • He avoids physical contact. Do you kiss, hold hands, have good sex? If he is always coming up with an excuse to avoid getting close, this is a sure sign that things are not right.

 

  • He tries to avoid talking about your relationship, often saying that “he doesn’t want to rush anything” or is  “confused”.  If you have been seeing each other for some time and things haven’t moved on at all in that time, then be cautious, he really isn’t intending to commit to you.

 

If you notice any of these signs in your relationship – watch out! You need to look a bit deeper and make sure that this partnership is really genuine – your initial thought “am I being used?” could turn out to be true.  Don’t waste your time on someone who does not treat you as an equal or who is obviously not looking for the same things as you are in a relationship.

 

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

Is he Really the Right Man?

Have you been asking yourself “Is he really the right man?”  You’ve been dating for some time now, but you’re not sure whether he’s the right man for you or not. Your friends think that he is wrong for you, and in your heart, you know that he probably isn’t right either. So why don’t you dump him and move on instead of making excuses and hoping that things will get better.

I have written a guest article for Relationship Headquarters which you can read by clicking the link below:

http://www.relationshipheadquarters.com/really-right-man/

I hope you are not wasting your time and effort on the wrong man.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

How to Overcome Shyness on a Date

It is very hard to learn how to overcome shyness on a date and meet new people. If you are shy and find it difficult to hold a conversation with a stranger, you will feel anxious and worry that you won’t know what to talk about, you will be worried about saying and doing the wrong thing and you just feel generally nervous. It is all too easy to keep yourself to yourself and not to even bother about meeting anyone new however desperately you really want to.How to overcome shyness on a date

You may not be able to overcome your shyness completely, but there are ways that will help you to manage yourself which will help to cope with your social anxiety.

Here are some ways to show you how to overcome shyness on a date:

1. Think about your strengths. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. They could be things you have achieved in the past, things you are good at, your values and beliefs. Memorise your list and be proud of it – it is who you are – your identity.

2. Have some topics of conversation ready. Keep up to date with the news and current affairs so that you always have something to talk about. If you already know some of the things that your date enjoys or is interested in, read up on the subjects so that you can participate in a conversation.

3. Stop worrying about what other people might think. You are who you are, you have your own qualities (which you should have listed), you do not need other peoples approval for your own self-worth. Feel good about yourself – this feeling will be picked up by your date with positive effect.

4. Learn some communication skills. There are lots of books that you can read that will help you to overcome your shyness and anxiety in social situations. Check out the library or book shop and find some suitable books on communication skills, social skills, emotional awareness ad relationship management.

5. Learn some relaxation methods. Find a DVD or CD or a book which will help you to learn how to relax. There are simple techniques that you can use, such as breathing exercises which will help to calm you down when you feel the familiar signs of nervousness start.

6. Take up a new activity doing something that you enjoy. By interacting with other like-minded people, you will gain experience talking to people which will boost your confidence. Choose something that you know about or volunteer for a cause that you believe in.

7. Take it one step at a time. Don’t force yourself to do more than you can handle and put yourself under even more pressure. Concentrate on learning one new social skill at a time and make sure you do it well. If you just want to practice smiling and saying “hello”, then do that until you are confident that you are doing it well and naturally, then move on to something else, such as one flirting technique and practice it until it becomes second nature. Gradually build up your skills, you will be surprised how soon you gain confidence.

If you really want to move on with your life and find someone to share it with, it is worth investing some time and effort into yourself. You can learn how to overcome shyness on a date if you really want to, you just need to believe in yourself and believe that there are ways you can help yourself to achieve what you really want.
There are many people who lack confidence and let life pass them by because they do not know how to deal with it. There are also many people who lack confidence, but who do take steps to deal with it and they have moved on to have good careers and a long and successful relationship – it can be done.

 

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

How to Find a Good Man

Have you begun to despair that you will ever find the man of your dreams and don’t really know how to find a good man? Maybe you’ve had so many dates with unsuitable men that you’re beginning to wonder if there are actually any good men out there.

Well, I can assure you that there are, you just need to know where to look and what you are looking for. So here are my tips on how to find a good man:

 

  • First of all you need to know what a good man is. What are the qualities you are looking for in a man? Qualities that I would consider important are integrity, nice personality, trustworthiness, kindness, supportive, loving, confidence, ambition in life, family-orientated, respectful. The list could go on. The important thing is for you to decide which attributes are the most important to you.

How to find a good man

  • When you are aware of what qualities you are looking for in a man, you then need to work out what qualities you feel a good man would be looking for and make sure that you develop those qualities yourself. A good man is not necessarily looking for the most physically attractive woman, but is looking ultimately for similar things to you. Make sure you are attractive on the inside and your qualities will shine through. Smile a lot and show that you have confidence in yourself. Good men will automatically be attracted to you if you believe in yourself and are happy in your own skin.

 

  • Don’t allow past baggage to affect your future. Yes, we’ve all had bad or negative experiences and these can knock us down, but it is important to let the past go and concentrate on building the future. If you are constantly on the defensive or cannot allow yourself to trust anyone, then you will never find anyone new and your good man will pass you by. So pick up the pieces, put yourself back together and start again with a positive attitude.

 

  • Be open all the time to new opportunities. You never know when you are going to run in to the man who may be perfect for you. It may be at the supermarket, at work, while walking the dog – just about anywhere. So make sure you are always ready to smile and start a conversation. You never know where it might lead.

 

  • Even though there is always the possibility if meeting someone anywhere you go, why not go to places where suitable men might hang out. There will always be guys at the gym, sporting events, motorbike/car shows, parties, clubs and classes, church, volunteering events. These are all places where there is a good chance that you might get chatting to a good man. If you are there as your happy, confident self, then there is a very good chance that he will notice you.

 

Never forget that a good man could be just around the corner waiting for you to bump into him, so make sure that you are always ready for that eventuality. Love yourself, smile and he will be attracted to you like a magnet if he is the right one.

 

 

Autumn is a Great Time to Fall in Love

Autumn can seem a bit depressing to some people with summer holidays a distant memory, suntan fading, Christmas looming up. But on a positive note every season has its own appeal and Autumn can be a very special time to fall in love.

All around are lots of areas of parkland, hedgerows, woodland and open spaces. Most of us are not far way from a wonderful array of colours as the leaves change and fall off, colourful berries are there in abundance for the birds (or for us to gather). What could be more wonderful and romantic than walking hand in hand surrounded by the natural beauty that the countryside gives us.

Studies have shown that we can feel less inhibited when walking side by side with someone and are more likely to be open and honest than when talking about our feelings face-to-face. So what could be better on a first or second date than walking together holding hands kicking through piles of crisp autumn leaves to really get to know each other. This may be just the trigger you need to make you fall in love with each other.

As the days are much shorter, most of us want to slow down and spend more time indoors. Once you have got to know your partner a bit better, it could be time to invite him or her to your home for the first time. Long, cosy evenings together brings with it the opportunity for more intimacy – not necessarily sex, but closeness through conversation, cuddling up watching a good film, playing board or computer games or perhaps cooking for each other for the first time. You will get to know your partner in a completely different setting and begin to get a glimpse into their private world.

We are more likely to fall in love with someone if the things we do remind us of happy times. Doing something special together can evoke good memories and help us to feel that the person that we have not known for very long is becoming less of a stranger. It doesn’t have to be anything out of the ordinary – just having fun, enjoying each others company, maybe collecting conkers or leaves together, picking berries to make wine, sloe gin or pies. A few hours doing something like this could leave us with very happy memories of a special day spent together.

So make the most of this autumn. Enjoy the pleasures that nature gives us, create some happy memories to keep you going through the long winter months – hopefully you will fall in love very soon.

10 Ways to Make Your First Date a Success

First dates are always a bit nerve-wracking. It’s easy to let your nerves get the better of you and end up making a mess of things.  Don’t let this happen – follow these tips to help make your first date a success.  Hopefully it will then have a good chance of progressing further and leading to second, third and even more dates.

Read my latest post on digitalromanceinc.com

10 Ways to make Your First Date a Success

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

 

Use Your Intuition When Looking For Love

It is important to use your intuition when looking for love.  Find out why.

Read my guest post on MatureMatch.co.uk  Why You Shouldn’t Forget Your Intuition When Looking For Love.

Make a Good First Impression on a Date

Make sure you know how to make a good first impression on a date as this counts for a lot when you meet someone new. Always be aware of this and put some thought into how you present yourself.  The person you are dating will decide within a few minutes how they feel about you so you can’t afford to get it wrong if you want your date to be a success. If he likes you on first sight he will subconsciously look for ways to see the best in you.  If he’s not sure initially, then the opposite will happen – he will only notice the negatives.

Here are some tips on how to make a good first impression on a date:

1. Your attitude, including your posture is the first thing that someone will notice about you. Your attitude will tell them if you are open or closed, charming or alarming. Humans are programmed to pick out healthy mates so the way you hold yourself gives a good indicator as to your general state of health, so make sure you are aware of this from the start.

Make sure you are welcoming, enthusiatic and upbeat rather than negative, stand-offish or overly cautious.

2. The way you dress is the second thing that someone will notice about you. Your clothing speaks volumes about you and can tell someone what sort of person you see yourself as – whether you are conventional or flamboyant, sexy or modest, trendy or traditional and also can reveal alot about your socio-economic status. Go through your wardrobe and make sure your clothes are going to make the right statement. Make sure you choose appropriately for each date.

3. Try and smile naturally and show that you are genuinely enjoying yourself.  This signals that you are happy and confident.

4. Make eye contact. By making eye contact, if only briefly, shows that you are open to trusting him.  Just a quick glance to notice his eye colour is enough to begin with.

5. Keep your body language positive. Point your heart towards theirs, this signals that you are not going to harm them.  Don’t cross you arms over your chest as this suggests that you are being closed and defensive.

These are just a few very important basics in how to make a good first impression on a date. Don’t forget how crucial those first few seconds of meeting are. If you miss that chance, you could have messed up a good opportunity for building a relationship with someone who may have turned out to be a perfect mate for you. It is always worth getting yourself prepared beforehand and being aware of how you could influence the way someone else may see you and make it work in your favour.

The best thing is to be yourself and enjoy your date, safe in the knowledge that you have prepared yourself in advance and are giving off the right image and making a good impression.

The Art of Flirting

The Art of Flirting is something that you need to learn if you want to attract the attention of someone who looks interesting.

Flirting can be much more than just a bit of fun, done effectively it can be the very first step to the beginning of a beautiful relationship. Flirting with someone can create a positive effect and make them feel good about themselves.

So how do you develop the art of flirting?

Flirting is a subtle communication tool that we often use instinctively to draw the attention to ourselves of someone who we find attractive in some way. It is a natural gift that we are given at birth, but we don’t always use it and follow our instincts, so can end up by giving out wrong signals which are misinterpreted or not appreciated.

Here are some tips to help you to learn the art of flirting

Look into his eyes. The eyes are the first thing you notice about a person, so let your eyes do the talking. Let your eyes rest for a moment on the persons eyes you are interested in with a facial expression that conveys an emotional message, as they notice your look, then look away. This will make him notice you.

Subtle and subconscious signals can speak volumes. Running a finger gently through your hair, playing with your keys, moving your hands up and down a glass, all send a sensual message and indicate that you are interested in a person.

Start a conversation. Be the first one to speak and try and get him to engage in a conversation. Try not to ask personal questions at first, but try and find out what sort of thing he is interested in and tell him about your interests.

Give him a wink. Make sure that you convey the right message by doing it properly.

Touch. Being touched by someone you find attractive is very exciting. Touch his arm casually during conversation, lead him to the dance floor by holding his hand, playfully touch his neck or gently touch  his face. These are all signals that show you find someone attractive.

Invite him to dance. Dance close to his body and make sensuous moves, make eye contact and smile. This can be very seductive and flirtatious.

Compliment him Men love to receive a compliment, so say something nice to him– comment on what he is wearing,his hair, his smell. Be sincere though, if you go over the top it could sound false.

Buy him a drink or send him a little note. This will let him know that you are interested in him and will surely impress him.

Show off your best features. Everyone is special in some way or other. So flaunt your best features – perhaps you have nice shiny hair, seductive lips or come-to-bed eyes. Use your best features to your advantage – you will be irresistible.

Be Bold. If you want to say something come right out with it. If you want to touch him, do it. If you’ve got the nerve go right up to him and give him a passionate kiss. It is most likely that he will be impressed by your bold attitude and find it real turn-on.

Have a go at some of these flirting techniques next time you are out. It can take a bit of practise to learn the art of flirting and get it right, but have some fun and get yourself noticed.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

Are You Ready to Start Dating?

Make sure that you are ready to start dating before you start looking for a man. It is no good starting your search for love if you are not prepared in advance.

Ask yourself  before you start on your search for a good man “Are you ready to start dating?”

Are you ready to start dating

 

Here is my Top 10 checklist to make sure you are ready to start dating:

1.Make sure you are mentally prepared. Think about what you really want out of life, what attributes you would like in a partner and commit yourself to getting what you want. Put in some time and effort effort and don’t be half-hearted about it. Keep in your mind that you may have to face rejection, so be prepared to pick yourself up, not take it personally, move on and not give up at the first hurdle

2. Buy yourself some new clothes – have a really good shopping spree. Get some advice from a friend or shop assistant about what suits you. Dress appropriately for your age and lifestyle – if you don’t feel comfortable in what you are wearing, you will not feel relaxed. If you feel good – you will look good.

3.Make sure your body is in good shape. Have your hair cut or re-styled. Join a gym or exercise class, start to tone up by modifying your diet and exercising more. Make sure you are well-groomed generally. You will feel more confident about yourself, so will be more attractive to others as they will sense your confidence.

4. Have realistic expectations. You are more likely to achieve success if you choose someone who is of a similar age to yourself and has similar aspirations, rather than someone who is 20 years younger or moves in completely opposite social circle.

5. Get yourself out there. Join clubs, sports groups, societies, drama groups, special interest group, anything where you might just meet like-minded potential partners.

6. Surround yourself with positive people if you can –family and friends who are supportive of your dating efforts. Negative people can drag you down and drain your confidence. A positive attitude will help to keep you more focussed.

7. Try not to take it all too seriously. Have fun and enjoy meeting people and take pleasure in their company rather than always worrying whether they are going to be Mr Right. You will most likely end up making some fantastic new friends and having some fun times along the way with people who are not going to be the love of your life, but are lovely people any way.

8. Don’t be too available. If you come across as over-eager or desperate, that can put people off. Take things slowly, people generally enjoy a bit of mystery and the thrill of the chase when dating. You are more likely to find true love if you take the time to get to know each other properly.

9. Don’t be too specific with your search criteria, i.e. he must be blond, tall, slim etc. you will limit your choice of potential partners and may well let someone who might have been perfect in most other ways, slip through the net. Try and keep an open mind and give someone a chance who may not exactly fit the bill. Meeting someone who lives nearby would be ideal, but don’t eliminate someone who live further away as you can always arrange to meet half way.

10. Have a sense of humour. If a date doesn’t work out as you had hoped, see the funny side and move on. Keep a diary of your experiences or share them with a friend. There will always be something to have a laugh about at a later date and perhaps something to learn from a particular experience.

If you follow these dating tips to get yourself prepared you will know that you are really ready to start dating and be on the right track for success.  Hopefully it will not be too long before you come across your perfect partner – there are a lot of lonely men, so get out there and meet some of them.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”