Monthly Archives: March 2015

How to Tell if he’s a Good Man

When you start meeting new guys you will come across all types. There will be the good, the mediocre and the bad. Initially you may rely on physical attraction, but you should not let the fact that he is good-looking cloud your judgement. There are lots of things that are far more important in a relationship and you need to know how to tell if he’s a good man.

 Are you ready to start dating

Here are my top signs to look out for when meeting new guys to help you learn how to tell if he’s a good man:

 

Use your intuition. The human race is equipped with instincts to help protect its survival. If something about the guy doesn’t feel right then trust your gut feelings.

 

Notice how he listens to you. If he is a genuine, caring guy he should listen attentively while you talk, wait for you to finish and ask questions. This shows that he is genuinely interested in what you are saying.

 

Notice how he treats others. A good man should be polite to the people around him.

Notice how he interacts with waiters in a restaurant or bar staff, how he treats your friends and family and particularly how he treats other women. A good man should be respectful and considerate to all women.

 

Notice what his attitude to life is. If he is negative and pessimistic about things and finds it difficult to find anything positive to say or do, then he could end up dragging you down with him. A good man will try and look at the positives in a situation and look for solutions.

 

Is he open and honest with you? A good man will be happy to share his inner-most thoughts and feelings with you and understands that hiding things will cause frustration and misunderstanding. He should also be able to make you feel comfortable being honest with him.

 

Does he try hard to gain your trust? A good man understands that trust must be earned and kept and will work hard to make sure you feel comfortable and confident in your relationship. If there is no trust there is no foundation for respect or love.

 

Does he make you feel beautiful? A good man understands that a woman needs to feel beautiful. His actions should speak as loudly as his words – the way he looks at you, touches you and treats you will say as much as what he says.

 

A good man will never be abusive. If he is abusive toward you in any way, whether it is verbal, mental, emotional or physical, then he is not a good man and you should walk straight out of the relationship. Do not give him a second chance, people like this never change.

 

These are just initial pointers to look out for when meeting new guys and will help to guide you on how to tell if he’s a good man during your first few meetings. If any of these things are not right in this initial stage, then I would suggest that you walk away and look for someone else. You deserve the best, so never settle for anything less.

 

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

 

 

Dealing With Rejection – How to Bounce Back

When a relationship comes to an end it is never easy, but when you are not the one who wants to end it, it will feel a whole lot worse. You will need to have coping strategies in place to help when dealing with rejection.

 

You will undoubtedly feel regret, loss, hurt and sadness, not to mention loss of confidence, so when it’s all over how do you bounce back and get over those awful feelings of loss and desolation?

 

Follow my tips to help you to begin rebuilding your life, take it slowly and accept that time will heal. Dealing with rejection is hard and it will take some time, but you need to start taking some small, positive steps which will help you to start the process of recovery.

dealing with rejection

Accept that the relationship is over. Don’t try and fool yourself that things might work themselves out and you could get back together – this most likely is not going to happen. Don’t torture yourself with “what if’s”, this is pointless, what’s done is done. You cannot start the healing process until you have truly let go and accepted that it is over for good.

 

Have a really good cry. This will help to release a lot of stress and weight inside your heart

 

Stop crying . When you have cried your eyes out, make yourself stop and pull yourself together. You will naturally be feeling a knock in your confidence and self-esteem, but don’t wallow in your misery. Try not to take it personally, just accept that that person just was not right for you. Interact with other people and find things to do to keep you busy. Try and keep yourself away from things that remind you of them.

 

Find some new interests just for you which were not easy to do when in a relationship. Maybe there is something you always fancied trying – learning to dance, a new language, travelling, evening classes, join a gym, go swimming – the world is your oyster! Try and inject some fun into what you do and change your routine – this will lift your spirits and energy levels and change your focus.

 

Why not try online dating or join a dating agency. You’re probably not ready for a new intense love affair just yet, but your social life may need a boost. You can make new friends of either sex – find someone to go out for a meal with, to the cinema or theatre or just meet up for a drink or a coffee and chat. It’s possible that they may have been through a similar break-up and will understand how you feel, so you will create a new bond and a new friend. You don’t have to rush straight into a relationship, new friends are a great way starting up a new social life and moving forward.

Re-think your technique. If you’ve had a few rejections in a row, maybe it’s time to have a look at your technique and see if you can do anything differently.

Have a look at your clothes and appearance and make sure you are giving the right message. Dress appropriately for your age or figure. Make sure you are smart, neat and tidy and sweet-smelling. These simple things can make all the difference.

Think about what you say and how you say things – occasionally some words or phrases can be misconstrued as being rude or insulting to some people.

What is your overall manner like – do you have a tendency to be too defensive and cautious, too pushy or too reserved? Try to be always open and friendly.

Take a good look at yourself and change things if you can. People who have the most success always adjust and improve their game plan until they get it right.

Treat every date as if it were your first Never carry over the hurt and rejection from a past date into your next date. Remember your new date does not know what happened last time and has absolutely nothing to do with it. Try and start off with a positive attitude. If you go with a negative attitude, it is likely that this will affect the way you date sees you and reacts to you, so will inevitably lead to yet another rejection. It is all too easy to get yourself into this destructive cycle.

When dating it is very likley that at some point things will go wrong. Dealing with rejection is all part of it. You have to learn from your experiences and bounce back. Who knows, your next date might be the one you have been waiting for.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

 

 

What to Take With You on a Date

When you’ve got a date, it’s very exciting.  Common sense can go out of the window and leave you in a panic if things go wrong. So be prepared and have a checklist of what to take with you on a date. It is always best to be ready for any eventuality before going on a date, which will save you a lot of stress and will also impress your date. So here are my suggestions of what to take with you on a date.

Never leave home without…..

What to take with you on a dateYour wallet, purse, handbag and cash or/and credit cards. Never assume the man will pay for everything.

Mobile phone. If things don’t go according to plan and you’re running late or can’t make it at the last minute, if you need to call a taxi at the end of your date or, particularly for a woman, for security, a phone is an essential item to take with you on a date.What to take with you on a date

Make sure you know exactly where you are supposed to be meeting. Get the address and directions to the location in advance to save last minute panicking.

Take a sense of humour with you . Not an actual object of course, but if you are unable to laugh and enjoy yourself regardless of how the date turns out, the date is likely to be ruined before you even start.

An umbrella is always handy. When you’ve spent hours getting ready, there’s nothing worse than a shower of rain to ruin everything.

Take common sense and trust in equal amounts. You obviously need to be on the alert if things don’t ring true with your date and be able to spot any danger signals, but initially you must trust them and remember that people are innocent until proved guilty. Don’t have the attitude that your new date is as bad as your ex otherwise you will never move on.

Take a small notebook or pocket diary and pen if you don’t have this facility on your phone. This will help you when arranging a subsequent date and you will be able to make a note of their phone number.

If you are attending a concert or other event, make sure you have the tickets in advance if you are the one arranging things and don’t forget to take them with you.

This one is a bit controversial, but I would recommend having some condoms with you (men and women). Though I would never advise anyone to have sex on a first date, it does happen and it makes sense to be prepared.

And finally, don’t forget your own personality. First dates can be quite daunting and can leave you nervous and tongue-tied, but try and relax and enjoy the date. Don’t forget it is your dates first meeting with you too, so you are both likely to be feeling the same.Try to have fun and just let the conversation flow naturally.

So now that you know what to take with you on a date you can concentrate on relaxing secure in the knowledge that you are well-prepared should anything go wrong.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

3 Wrong Reasons for Getting into a Relationship

Did you know that there can be wrong reasons for getting into a relationship? Do your relationships generally fail, even though you feel that you’ve done nothing wrong? Maybe you need to stop and think about whether you are getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons.  There is no doubt about it life can often seem better if you are part of a couple, but being with the wrong person can turn out to be much worse than being on your own.

Here are 3 wrong reasons for getting into a relationship:

1. You are lonely. This is a very common mistake. Lots of people hang on to their current partner out of a sheer fear of loneliness, even if they are not being treated with respect, they feel that a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all. You owe it to yourself to end a relationship that is not a good one, even if it means time spent on your own. Use this time to think about what you really want out of life and set about achieving it.

Wrong reasons for getting into a relationship2. Peer pressure. Lots of people get into a relationship because all of their friends are pairing off and they feel they are getting left behind. It can be quite depressing if you are not experiencing the same pleasure as they do and may feel that there is something wrong with you because it is not happening for you. Don’t be pressured into getting into a relationship with someone who isn’t really suitable just because you don’t want to be left behind. Enjoy being single, focus on your own hobbies and interests and be happy just being you. You will find that love will come to find you once you are happy being yourself.

3. Feeling you’re missing something. It’s very easy to rush into a relationship because you feel you’re missing something and think that “something” is someone of the opposite sex. But once you get into a relationship, you may often find that the empty space is still there. Focus on filling your life with friends, family, fun. Try out some new interests, go to some new places, meet some new people. One person cannot fill every space in your life, so you need to find out for yourself other things that can fulfill you.

If you get into a relationship for the wrong reason, it is very unlikely to last or be a happy one and will inevitably cause heartache in the future. When you are ready to get into a relationship, make sure that you do so because you want to, not because you need to.  The right reasons are much better than the wrong reasons for getting into a relationship and will stand a much better chance of being successful.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

How to Spot Online Dating Cheats

Online dating can be great fun and a great way to meet new people. It is also a great place for cheats and liars to hang out and it is very easy for you to get caught out if you don’t spot the signs.

 

Here are some things to look out for to show you how to spot online dating cheats.

 

Beware of profiles with only one photo. I know some people are a bit shy about putting their photo on a dating site, but on the whole, genuine singles are quite happy to sell themselves as they are. If there’s just the one picture there is possibly good reasons for this – it means that there is less chance of him being recognised by people who know he is already attached. Maybe it isn’t even him or it could have been taken many years ago and looks nothing like him now.

 

Beware of people who claim to be separated. True, there are genuine people who are separated and free to look for a new partner, but there are also others who are not. It is quite easy for someone who is bored with their relationship and just looking for a bit of fun on the side to sign up on an online dating site without their partner’s knowledge.

 

Beware of odd or unusual usernames. By using a name that is difficult to spell or remember, it gives the user anonymity. If he already has a partner who is perhaps suspicious, she will have more trouble tracking him down. He will also be able to change it frequently on different sites to avoid his identity being found out…

 

Beware of photos that don’t show the eyes. We all know that the eyes are the window to the soul and this is very true. People are usually recognised by their eyes above all of their other features, so beware of anyone who is posing wearing sunglasses.

How to spot online dating cheats

Beware of people who live 100s of mile away, but say they don’t mind travelling. Ask yourself why he wants to meet someone so far away if he is looking for a genuine relationship. It is likely that he already has a partner elsewhere and doesn’t want to risk anyone he knows running into him close to home.

 

Beware of people who are only available on weekdays. If he is never around at weekends, then chances are that he has another life elsewhere with another partner and maybe children.

 

Beware the person who only texts and never calls. If he never has time for a phone chat or puts restrictions on the times you can call or text him, then alarm bells should be ringing. It is possible that he is juggling you around other dates or a relationship.

How to spot online dating cheats

These are just a few pointers on how to spot an online cheat. Obviously not everyone will be guilty, but these are things that I have come across from my clients who have been caught out by online cheats. Whatever you do, always exercise caution when meeting up with someone new online or offline. Look out for red flags and remember to always trust your instincts – if something doesn’t feel right, it usually isn’t.

 

When is the Right Time for Sex in a New Relationship

The start of a new relationship is exciting and exhilarating – you are growing closer and finding out new things about each other all the time.

The subject of sex will most likely be going round in the heads of both partners and you will both be thinking ”When is the right time for sex?”

When is the right time for sex in a new relationshipAs much as you may feel that you know your partner pretty well after the first few dates and there seems to some chemistry there, it is too soon for sex. You need to allow yourselves much more time to get to know each other properly before you share your bodies intimately, it is important that you feel completely relaxed in each others company before you move on to the next stage of a relationship.

More often than not, it is usually the man who wants sex first ( I know that is not always true), it can be difficult for a woman to know whether he is genuinely interested in a long-term relationship or just wants sex. If he brings up the subject of sex after a couple of dates, then that is a good warning sign that is just what he is after and maybe isn’t genuinely wanting a meaningful relationship.

If he goes on lots of dates with you without mentioning sex, then that’s a good indicator that he is interested in you as a person and hoping to develop a long, lasting relationship.

There is no particular right time to have sex in a new relationship, but it is important that you both feel ready. Sex is an expression of love and how you feel about each other, so you should really be ready to express your feelings in this way before committing. If you feel that your partner is rushing you before you are ready, then you really need to consider whether you think the relationship is worth continuing with or not. Anyone worth staying with will be happy to wait until you are both ready.

Don’t allow yourself to be pressurised into having sex before you are ready, stay true to your morals and feelings – only you know how you feel and whether you are happy to get more intimate. Make sure you know about their past sexual history before you take things too far, discuss contraception and make sure you are truly sure that you want to do it.

It is important that you get to know each other properly so that you are comfortable and relaxed in each others company in all ways before embarking on a sexual relationship. If you get the timing wrong, then it will most likely be a disappointing experience and may well be the beginning of the end of what could have become a beautiful relationship. If you get the timing right – then wow! You will both be expressing your true love for each other and will hopefully cement your relationship into a lasting, happy partnership.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

First Date Tips: How to Act So He Asks You Out Again and Again!

If you want your first date to be a success there are some rules that you should follow. Check out this short video “First Date Tips: How to Act So He Asks You Out Again and Again.

 

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

How to Meet Single Guys

If you are hoping to start a relationship with a new man but are struggling to know how to go about it, then you need to know how to meet single guys who could be suitable for you.

 

That isn’t so difficult when you think about it as suitable single guys are everywhere. You just need to know how to seek them out and get them to notice you.

How to meet single guys

The first thing you need to do is open yourself up to meeting new people and get used to interacting with them. When you go out and about, put a smile on your face and make a point of passing the time of day with everyone you meet. This could be in the supermarket, while you are walking the dog, working out in the gym or anywhere you go. You will be pleasantly surprised by how many people will smile and answer you back.

Practise doing this every single time you go out until it becomes second nature, people are automatically drawn to others who are friendly and open. Obviously not all of these people will be single guys, but one day one of them might be and you need to be ready to act on the opportunity to get to know him by starting up a conversation with him.

 

How to meet single guys

The art of knowing how to meet single guys is to go to the places where they are likely to hang out such as football matches, the gym, swimming pools, sports clubs, concerts, dog walking in the park. It is helpful if you also have an interest in the same activity as you will instantly have something in common. It will then be much easier to start a conversation.

 

Try and go to the same place regularly if you have seen someone you like the look of. Take things slowly. Start off by making eye contact, smiling and saying hello. Do this every time you see him and gradually add a few casual comments in about the weather, the sport or anything else.

 

As time goes by, you will become more familiar with each other and will soon be chatting naturally. If you want to take things further you will of course need to determine that he is a single man, so look for signs of a wedding ring and listen for clues in the conversation.

How to meet single guys

Once you feel comfortable with each other, you could suggest going for a coffee or asking him if he wants to come with you to a sports match or concert if you have found out his interests. Obviously he might say no, but on the other hand he might say yes, so you have got nothing to lose by giving it a try.

 

If you are serious about wanting to know how to meet single guys, then you have to act on every opportunity that comes your way. It may be out of your comfort zone, but they will all pass you by if you do not make some effort to make them notice you, so make sure that you are always open to letting new people into your life.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”