Monthly Archives: November 2014

Am I Too Old to Start Dating?

Have you suddenly found yourself on your own again after a bereavement or divorce and cannot imagine meeting someone new and going out on a date? You may be asking yourself “Am I too old to start dating?”

But remember – Age is Just a Number – It’s Never too Late to Start Dating

No matter how old you are, there is no reason why you should not find someone special to share your life with.

 

Perhaps you feel that you are past it and that no-one will be interested in you. This is not the case.  When I was running my dating agency, my oldest member was in his 90’s.  I also had quite a number of men and women in their 70’s and 80’s, they all got plenty of dates.  Lots of mature people in your situation are  looking for that special someone to share their life with so there will always be plenty of potential mates for you to meet.

In fact you may find it easier to date as a mature person than you did as a youngster. This is true for a number of reasons:am I too old to start dating?

You know what you are looking for. You have had a lot of life experience that will help you to know what you want in a relationship and also what you don’t want. You have learned that personal qualities such as kindness, respect and generosity are far more important than material things in a happy, healthy relationship.

You are emotionally mature. You have learned how to see things from someone else’s point of view and be objective. You can keep in control of your feelings and not let irrational thoughts like jealousy get in the way. You can see things as they really are and accept a situation for what it is rather than letting your imagination run away with you.

You know yourself better. When you are young, you haven’t yet figured out who you are, what you want out of life and what your values are. Through the experiences that you have had in your life, you will have learned what your strengths and weaknesses are and learned different strategies for dealing with problems that you face. You will also have determined what you have to offer to someone else’s life and will be less likely to make extravagant promises that you may not be able to keep as you perhaps did when much younger.

You appreciate life more. As you mature, you are likely to have encountered loss and tragedy in your life, which makes you face up to your own mortality. Because of this, you are less likely to take people and things for granted and more likely to appreciate the good things in life. You will be more inclined to believe that a relationship doesn’t have to be 100% perfect to be happy and fulfilling.

Am I too old to start dating

You have a better understanding of human nature. Age and experience teaches you to accept that people have good and bad days. You don’t automatically assume that the whole relationship is wrong just because your partner is feeling negative about something at a particular time. You will have learned that feelings will pass once the negative emotions have been expressed and dealt with.

You have more time and financial freedom. When you are young there are many things that can get in the way of enjoying life – family, career, social life. As you get older, these demands are often less of an issue and you find yourself with time on your hands to do all the things you want to do. Having a partner to do things with can be great fun and can really enhance your life as you try new things together. You may also be lucky enough to be retired and financially secure which is an even greater bonus.

You will live longer. On a final note, scientific studies have shown that love can help you to live longer. Love can help to lower your blood pressure, keep your heart healthy and give you more emotional resources to overcome illness. Having someone special in your life will give you the motivation to recover.

So, don’t forget, when you ask yourself that question “Am I too old to start dating?”  The answer is a resounding “N0”.  You are NEVER too old to start dating. Life is what you make it and there is no reason why you shouldn’t have fun in a new relationship whatever your age.

 

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

Am I Being Used?

When looking for love, it can be difficult to know if the person you are dating is really serious about wanting a long-term relationship with you or are you just being used to fill in time until something better comes along? Perhaps little doubts keep springing into your mind for various reasons and you need to ask yourself the question – “Am I being used?”

There are some signs to look out for which will help you to decide whether your relationship is going anywhere or whether you are just being used.

Am I being used? – 6 signs to look out for:

  • He often cancels or puts off dates at the last minute or doesn’t ring or turn up when he said he would. This is a sign that he has better things to do than see you. You are obviously not no. 1 on his list of priorities.

 

  • His moods blow hot and cold – sometimes he is loving, pays you compliments and tells you how much you mean to him and other times he is quite cool and distant. When he is in a good mood, is it because he is trying to get round you because he wants something from you and then cooling off when he has got it? Someone who is supposedly in love with you should be happy to see you and be prepared to give and take.

 

  • He avoids being on his own with you. Does he always want to invite friends along when you suggest something for just the two of you or always want to be in the company of other people when you do anything? He could be trying to avoid too much close contact and this is his way of keeping you at arms length.

 

  • He is always asking for favours which he is not keen to return. Does he often ask to borrow money from you? Does he ask you to give him lifts in your car? Feed the cat? Get the shopping? If he is not happy to do the same for you, then there is a good chance that you are being used.

 

  • He avoids physical contact. Do you kiss, hold hands, have good sex? If he is always coming up with an excuse to avoid getting close, this is a sure sign that things are not right.

 

  • He tries to avoid talking about your relationship, often saying that “he doesn’t want to rush anything” or is  “confused”.  If you have been seeing each other for some time and things haven’t moved on at all in that time, then be cautious, he really isn’t intending to commit to you.

 

If you notice any of these signs in your relationship – watch out! You need to look a bit deeper and make sure that this partnership is really genuine – your initial thought “am I being used?” could turn out to be true.  Don’t waste your time on someone who does not treat you as an equal or who is obviously not looking for the same things as you are in a relationship.

 

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

Is he Really the Right Man?

Have you been asking yourself “Is he really the right man?”  You’ve been dating for some time now, but you’re not sure whether he’s the right man for you or not. Your friends think that he is wrong for you, and in your heart, you know that he probably isn’t right either. So why don’t you dump him and move on instead of making excuses and hoping that things will get better.

I have written a guest article for Relationship Headquarters which you can read by clicking the link below:

http://www.relationshipheadquarters.com/really-right-man/

I hope you are not wasting your time and effort on the wrong man.

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”

How to Overcome Shyness on a Date

It is very hard to learn how to overcome shyness on a date and meet new people. If you are shy and find it difficult to hold a conversation with a stranger, you will feel anxious and worry that you won’t know what to talk about, you will be worried about saying and doing the wrong thing and you just feel generally nervous. It is all too easy to keep yourself to yourself and not to even bother about meeting anyone new however desperately you really want to.How to overcome shyness on a date

You may not be able to overcome your shyness completely, but there are ways that will help you to manage yourself which will help to cope with your social anxiety.

Here are some ways to show you how to overcome shyness on a date:

1. Think about your strengths. Make a list of all the things you like about yourself. They could be things you have achieved in the past, things you are good at, your values and beliefs. Memorise your list and be proud of it – it is who you are – your identity.

2. Have some topics of conversation ready. Keep up to date with the news and current affairs so that you always have something to talk about. If you already know some of the things that your date enjoys or is interested in, read up on the subjects so that you can participate in a conversation.

3. Stop worrying about what other people might think. You are who you are, you have your own qualities (which you should have listed), you do not need other peoples approval for your own self-worth. Feel good about yourself – this feeling will be picked up by your date with positive effect.

4. Learn some communication skills. There are lots of books that you can read that will help you to overcome your shyness and anxiety in social situations. Check out the library or book shop and find some suitable books on communication skills, social skills, emotional awareness ad relationship management.

5. Learn some relaxation methods. Find a DVD or CD or a book which will help you to learn how to relax. There are simple techniques that you can use, such as breathing exercises which will help to calm you down when you feel the familiar signs of nervousness start.

6. Take up a new activity doing something that you enjoy. By interacting with other like-minded people, you will gain experience talking to people which will boost your confidence. Choose something that you know about or volunteer for a cause that you believe in.

7. Take it one step at a time. Don’t force yourself to do more than you can handle and put yourself under even more pressure. Concentrate on learning one new social skill at a time and make sure you do it well. If you just want to practice smiling and saying “hello”, then do that until you are confident that you are doing it well and naturally, then move on to something else, such as one flirting technique and practice it until it becomes second nature. Gradually build up your skills, you will be surprised how soon you gain confidence.

If you really want to move on with your life and find someone to share it with, it is worth investing some time and effort into yourself. You can learn how to overcome shyness on a date if you really want to, you just need to believe in yourself and believe that there are ways you can help yourself to achieve what you really want.
There are many people who lack confidence and let life pass them by because they do not know how to deal with it. There are also many people who lack confidence, but who do take steps to deal with it and they have moved on to have good careers and a long and successful relationship – it can be done.

 

If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”