Finding the perfect Christmas present for your new boyfriend can pose a bit of a problem, especially if you have not know them for long and are not sure of their tastes and their likes and dislikes.
If you are hoping that the relationship will progress, then you need to show that you have put some thought into your gift if you want to impress and take things to another level and not just plump for the usual chocolates, aftershave or booze.
Here are a few unusual and thoughtful ideas for a Christmas present for your new boyfriend:
A Book. – Browse around your local bookstore and find a book that may appeal. Choose one of the classics to be on the safe side unless you are familiar with a particular author or know exactly what sort of thing he likes. A book of poetry could be a thoughtful choice, particularly if it contains some romantic poems in the collection. A book of love quotes or life quotes is also a good choice. Humour can also be a good choice as long as you choose carefully and make sure that it is not offensive.
A CD – How about a compilation of soulful music. It could speak volumes to either sex, even if it’s not their usual style of music. It could give the two if you chance to get close if the songs are slow-danceable love songs.
A DVD – There are lots of films that could suitable choices for giving to your new love. A romantic old classic like Gone With the Wind or Love Story would be great or why not find some real old black and white classics. There are also lots of DVD collections of serials that have been on the TV which would also make a great gift.
Massage Oil – You have to be a bit careful with this one, but if you play your cards right it could be a great gift. It implies that you are ready to take things to the next level in your relationship and perhaps get a bit more physical. If you don’t get the reaction you were hoping for, you could always offer to give a neck and shoulder massage which should hopefully save the situation and smooth things over.
Things to avoid: Cheap aftershave or toiletries. Intimate items, such as underwear. Anything cheap and tacky-looking.
Whatever Christmas presents you decide to give to your new boyfriend, make sure that it shows that you have put some thought and effort into it. He will surely be impressed that you have taken the time and trouble to find something that is insightful and different. This could be the beginning of your relationship really taking off to a new level, so if you want that to happen, then a little time and thought could pay dividends and you will have captured the heart of your new love forever.
If you want to catch your dream man, you should not leave it to chance. There are certain strategies and skills that you need to learn first in order to become a magnet to the man you want. It is not all about hunting down your prey and pouncing, but focussing on how you can make yourself irresistible to him.
Follow my steps and learn how to catch your dream man.
- Find out exactly who you are as a person. Take a complete and honest look at yourself from the inside out. Be as specific as you can and discover what it is about you that makes you the unique person you are, warts and all.
- When you have discovered who you are, start to improve on the things you do not like about yourself. If you easily lose
your temper, start to work on anger management, if you drink too much or smoke, take steps to cut down or give up, if you are unreliable, try and get yourself more organised. Go through your list and make improvements where you can. There will be things that you cannot change, so accept and embrace them.
- Be happy in your own skin and with your own company. Other people are drawn to those who have a smile on their face and have the confidence to be on their own and be happy without relying on others for their every need.
- Shake off any hurt and resentment from the past and focus on the present and working towards the future. You will not attract your dream man if you are still harbouring feelings from a past relationship.
- Make a list of the qualities and characteristics that you want in your dream man. Don’t focus on material things, but look at the deeper qualities. Also make another list of the things that you are not prepared to compromise on.
- Find out where these type of men hang out and spend as much time there as you can. Good places to catch your dream man would be the gym, football matches, the swimming pool, dog walking in the park, night classes, volunteer groups, church activities, the list is endless.
- Make the best of your looks. Dress smartly and appropriately for where you are, make sure your hair looks nice and wear subtle make-up to bring out the best in your features.
- Make sure your body language is open and relaxed. When you see him, make good eye contact, smile and initiate a conversation.
- On your first date, make him the centre of your attention by asking open-ended questions and listening attentively to his replies. Don’t talk too much about yourself and dominate the conversation. Find out about his interests, his friends and family, but don’t turn it into an interrogation.
- Make sure you get to know each other properly on a personal level before trying to move on too quickly into a relationship. Maintain your independence instead of immediately attaching yourself to him. He will be more likely to commit in the future if you take things slowly and become friends rather than making him feel pressured too soon.
- Enjoy your time together. Have fun, relax and do the things that you both love doing. Communicate with words as well as actions so that you each understands the others needs and make sure that you are really compatible on every level before committing.
So now that you know how to catch your dream man, get yourself out there and find him. It is in your hands.
If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”
You can learn a lot about love from your dog – after all they are known as mans best friend. The way they give and receive love to you can teach you an awful lot about giving and receiving love to others and can ultimately help you to achieve a loving and lasting relationship with a fellow human being.
- The most powerful way to demonstrate love is through loyalty. This quality in dogs should be the number one priority in humans.
- Love freely and unconditionally. Dogs don’t expect you to live up to unrealistic expectations, they accept you as you are. This should apply in human relationships too.
- Express your needs clearly. Your dog always lets you know what he needs. Make sure you communicate with your partner and don’t expect him to guess what it is you are after.
- Always greet your partner with enthusiasm. Your dog is always pleased to see you when you get home and will be waiting to greet you with kisses. Make sure you do the same for your partner however long you have been together.
- Be comfortable in your own skin. Dogs are perfectly happy to be who they are, whether a scruffy mongrel or a well-bred pedigree. You should be too.
- Holding grudges is pointless. Your dog will soon forgive and forget any cross words or forgotten meals. You should move on as quickly as they do and not harbour resentment.
- Don’t hold on to the leash too tightly. Just as your dog loves the chance to run freely, your partner also needs space and freedom to grow.
- Don’t lose your wild side. Dogs may be domesticated and tamed, but they always keep a bit of their animal instinct which shows up now and again. Don’t fall into routines and habits, keep a little spontaneity and surprise your partner sometimes.
- Conflicts are avoided by boundaries. Dogs mark their territories and protect their space to ward off intruders. Healthy boundaries create healthy relationships for humans too.
- When you feel happy, don’t be afraid to show it. Your dog jumps around, rolls in the grass, runs about and lets you know that he is feeling happy. Why hold back your feelings? There is no greater pleasure than seeing the person you love being joyful.
So you see, you can learn about love from your dog. They are not just dumb animals, but can teach us many things about life, love and relationships.
If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”
Guys can be pretty sensitive in certain areas, particularly any subject that could hint at him being anything less of a man. If you want your relationship to last and be healthy and happy, make sure you are aware of the ten things a girl should never say to a guy.
- “We need to talk.” This phrase causes immediate panic in any guy and will immediately put him on the defensive and make him clam up. If you are in a loving relationship you should be talking anyway and should not need to announce that you need to talk. If there is something serious that you wish to discuss, try and bring it into the conversation naturally, you are more likely to get a more open chat with him.
- “Man up.” Never, ever suggest to your guy that he is not a man, especially not in front of anyone else. This phrase is totally emasculating and should never be used if you want your relationship to continue. Your guy will feel completely humiliated, will find it hard to forgive and forget and may well start looking for ways to counter-attack and humiliate you. If you feel that he is not meeting your expectations, try and find ways to let him know in a sensitive manner without insulting him.
- “My ex could do it, why can’t you?” Comparing your guy with your ex is likely to be the kiss of death to your relationship. No man likes to be compared to another guy, particularly one that you have been very close to in the past. So bite your tongue and accept your guy for who he is and not for who he isn’t.
- “Your mate is very good looking.” This comment could make your guy feel very insecure as he may think that you fancy his friend more than you do him. Never flirt with his mates and keep your relationship with them on a purely friendly basis. If you want to say something, compliment your guy on having really good friends, he will be flattered that you approve of his choice of mates.
- “Never mind… I’ll do it myself.” Guys like to know that they are needed and usually love to do little things for you. Don’t deny him this, it is a masculine instinct to protect his woman. If you won’t let him help you with anything he will subconsciously assume that you don’t think he is capable of doing anything important.
- “Do I look fat in this?” This is a question that every guy dreads being asked. There is only ever one acceptable answer, so if he pauses before answering or says the wrong thing, it is likely that you will then be upset or feel insecure and uncomfortable. So the best thing is, just don’t ask the question and trust that his answer would have been the right one if you had asked it.
- “I can’t live without you.” Steer clear of this phrase particularly early on in a relationship, it will make you seem needy and clingy. If he is not ready to commit, you may well scare him off.
- “Notice anything different?” This is another phrase most men dread. They immediately go into panic mode in case they’ve not noticed your new hairstyle, new outfit or other change in your appearance. Accept that men don’t always notice changes and don’t put him through the agony.
- 9. “You’re so immature.” Sometimes we all act childishly, but being told so will make him feel as though he is being told off by his mum. He will immediately feel foolish and will be annoyed at you for making him feel this way.
- “Nothings wrong.” Don’t insult your guys intelligence by giving him the silent treatment. When something is not right with you, he will notice and want to help put things right. There is nothing more irritating than denying that there is anything wrong when there clearly is. Talk to him, it is better to get things out in the open than to keep things festering inside.
Always remember that men and women are different in how they see things. Your guy needs to feel like a man and want to protect you, but at the same time has many insecurities and need his own ego boosting. So make sure that you are aware of the ten things a girl should never say to a guy and your relationship should last forever.
If you need help to find your real man check out “The Lost Art of Offline Dating. How to Find Love With a Real Man in the Real World.”
Dating and meeting new people can be a lot of fun, but you must always keep your wits about you and look out for signs that may indicate that things are not quite right and you might be dating a con man. While the majority of men you meet will be genuine and honest, there are unfortunately some who are not and will try and scam you out of money.
Here are some tips in how to spot a dating con man:
He seems too good to be true. A con man has a knack of creating very attractive personas in order to make you fall in love with him very quickly. He may describe himself as a very wealthy businessman who has at last found someone who understands him or a down-to-earth single dad who has found his soul mate. Or he may say that he is a policeman, teacher, lawyer or other professional person in a position of trust and respect. They are very clever at crafting believable situations that lower your guard in order to gain your trust so that they can ask you for money as time moves on.
If someone claims to have fallen in love with you too quickly, take a step back and consider the situation. He may be absolutely genuine, but make sure you proceed with caution before you get in too deep and look out for any other suspicious signs.
He wants to move too fast. When you meet someone new, whether it is in person or online, you need to take time to get to know each other slowly. If he declares his undying love for you soon after meeting and starts calling you by a pet name, be wary. Con men are very good at making you feel as though you are the special one they have been looking for all their life and may pressure you into getting married or moving in together. You may feel flattered, but be realistic and insist that he takes things more slowly.
He asks for personal information. Con men can be pretty clever at getting the information they need to get their hands on your money. He may subtly ask about where you bank or could ask to have a look at your driving license. He might offer to do you a favour and pick up some cash for you from the ATM using your card. Identity theft is pretty easy once you’ve got hold of the right information, so make sure you keep this sort of information to yourself until you have got to know him really well.
He asks for money. A con man is very good at coming up with reasons for needing money. He may suddenly have an emergency where he needs cash immediately, such as his pay check hasn’t come through and he needs to pay his rent otherwise he’ll be evicted or a family member needs emergency treatment that needs paying for. He may convince you that it is just a loan to tide him over until the money comes through, but whatever the situation, you should never, ever give anyone any money unless you have known them for a very long time and know that you can trust them completely.
He disappears regularly. A man who disappears for days or weeks at a time is invariably up to no good. It is quite likely that he is leading a double life and may have a wife and family elsewhere. If this happens, especially around holiday times, then be extremely cautious.
The world is full of all types of people, most of whom are decent, law-abiding citizens, but there are those who take advantage of vulnerable women and cheat them out of lots of money, so make sure you follow my tips on how to spot a dating con man and do not fall for their charms.
When you first start dating a new guy, you are discovering all sorts of things about each other which make it an exciting time. But what happens after that initial getting to know each other stage is over, how do you keep your new guy interested? It is easy to make mistakes which will eventually cause the end of the relationship if you don’t consider things from the guys perspective. Men and women are very different in how they see things in a relationship so it is important that you understand how a mans mind works so that you don’t put him off.
The first thing that you must do if you want to keep your new guy interested is to accept him as he is. If you try and change him in any way, he will immediately put his hackles up and back away. Welcome and accept the way he is, the way he dresses and the way he acts. There may be certain things that you’re not happy with, none of us are perfect, but accepting them at the beginning of a relationship will make him relax in your company and who knows, over time, he may change his ways naturally to suit your relationship.
Realise that a man is a visual creature, so make sure that you always look your best when you meet. There is no need to get yourself dolled up to the nines every time you see him, but make sure you have made an effort to show him that you care about him enough to bother to make yourself look good.
When your relationship is still in the early stages, find out about his interests and make an effort to learn a bit about them so that you can chat knowledgably with him. He will appreciate that you can understand what he is talking about and are able to participate in a conversation.
If you want to keep your new guy interested understand his need for his own space. If he wants a night or weekend with his mates, accept this. Don’t be constantly texting or emailing him. Men like some independence and will be put off if you are always chasing him and wanting to know where he is and what he is doing. If a relationship is to work, then trust on both sides is important.
Don’t always expect him to pay for you every time you go out. If you favour expensive restaurants or always want to go somewhere that costs lots of money he may start to think that he can’t afford to stay with you. Choose cheaper places sometimes and make it clear that you are happy in his company wherever it may be. Make sure that you pay your share or at least offer.
Be your own person and don’t change who you are to suit him. He will respect you for having your own opinions even if they are not the same as his own. If you agree with him all of the time just to please him he will eventually find out your true feelings and will fell irritated and annoyed that you were not bold enough to stick to your own opinions.
Keep in mind the gender differences between men and women. You will both bring different things to your relationship. Recognise these differences and learn how to work with them to make your relationship stronger rather than trying to change things.
A little effort and thought is required to keep your new man interested so that the relationship can continue further. If you put in the effort at the beginning there is a good chance that you will go on to have a long and happy partnership.
Here is an article that I have contributed to an online magazine Relationship Headquarters
How to Keep Your Individuality in a Relationship
That feeling of being in love, when your heart is all of a flutter every time you think of him, you can’t eat or sleep properly and your every waking thought is filled with him, is a truly magical feeling. But how do you know if he is feeling the same? When is the right time to say I love you?
Blurting out those three little words “I love you” could mean the end of a beautiful friendship if you get your timing wrong and the other person is not quite feeling the same romantic thoughts.
So how can you tell if the time is right to let him know how you feel and whether you have really found true romance.
Look out for these 12 signs that will help you to decide if it is the right time to say “I Love You”:
- He always makes you feel special. Does he hold doors open for you and tell you how nice you look when you meet and is always considerate towards you?
- He appreciates you. Does he thank you when you do something for him and doesn’t take you for granted?
- He listens to you. Does he give you the chance to talk and truly listen to what you are saying?
- He values your opinions. Does he ask your opinion or advice and respects your differences if you don’t always agree?
- He is always happy when you are together. Does he have a smile on his face when you meet and is not moody and unpredictable?
- He does things that you want to do as well as what he wants to do. Is he happy to share your interests and does not just expect you to fall in with what he wants to do?
- He pays you compliments. He notices when you are wearing something new or have a new hairstyle and also compliments you if you have achieved something new.
- He is understanding – if you are upset, unhappy or worried. He shows that he cares about your feelings by letting you talk about how you feel or just lending a shoulder to cry on if you need it.
- He cares about you and looks after you if you are ill. He shows concern and is happy to comfort you or run around after you if you need it.
- He is happy to share you with his friends and family. Is he proud to show you off to his friends and family? This is a sure sign that he sees you as a long-term part of his life.
- He shows you his feelings. Is he demonstrative and holds your hand when you are out together? Does he kiss you and touch you a lot? Does he say nice things to you?
- If he says I love you first. This is the best sign of all. He has obviously picked up on your feelings for him and has been brave enough to let you know how he feels about you.
If you can tick all of the boxes, then you can be fairly sure that he feels the same way as you do and you can be confident that it is the right time to say I love you. You know you have found true romance and hopefully your soulmate forever.
When you are looking for love it can be very difficult knowing how to go about it and where to meet good men. Although there are men around you everywhere, the vast majority of them will be unsuitable in some way, either because they are already attached or because they have absolutely nothing in common with you whatsoever.
Here is my Top 10 List of where to meet good men.
Sports matches. Whatever sport takes your fancy, whether it is football, baseball, cricket, rugby, tennis or even martial arts, there is very likely to be an abundance of men there and a high percentage of them are likely to be single. If you share their love of the sport you immediately have something in common which is a great starting point for a conversation and a possible lasting relationship.
Live music venues. Musicians and bands that play live usually have a following of dedicated fans and hangers-on. The band members themselves might be pretty fit, so check them out too. A good crowd of fellow fun-loving music-lovers are likely to be at the venues who also share a love of the same type of music as you, so you have an immediate starting point.
Car/motorcycle events. Men love anything on wheels, so if there is any sort of event in your area, get yourself down there. It could be anything from a classic car show to motorcycle racing to an autojumble. They will be standing around admiring the machinery, so find an excuse to get chatting.
Theatre/drama groups. If you are looking for an artistic, outgoing type of man, this could be the place to meet him. Join a local group and you will get the opportunity to be working in close proximity to all sorts of people, one of whom could become your future partner. You will always have a shared interest in doing something that you both love and enjoy.
Blood Drives. This sounds a bit sinister, but what better man to meet than someone who cares enough to give up his time and body fluids to help others? After you’ve given your blood, it will be quite easy to strike up a conversation with a fellow donor over a cup of tea and biscuits. If you don’t happen to meet anyone very interesting, at least you will feel good about yourself for doing something positive to save lives.
Business conferences/seminars. These sort of events are usually filled with smart, ambitious men who could be potential partner material. So if you’re looking to boost your career or start a new one, attending such a meeting could be interesting and fruitful in all areas. Striking up a conversation is relatively easy as most people attending will have similar career interests. Beware though that often a business conference is an opportunity for certain men to get away from home to have an extra-marital fling, so check that he is available before you jump in with both feet.
Pubs and bars. Avoid the trendy night spot type of place. Instead head for a traditional type pub where there will be lots of men playing pool or darts or watching football on a TV screen. You could challenge one to a game or cheer on their team. This is a great place to meet a nice, regular, laid-back kind of guy.
Walking the dog in the park. Try and walk your dog at the same time in the same place every day. There is a strong possibility that you will come across fellow dog-walkers who have the same routine. Men are creatures of habit, so if you spot someone you fancy, strike up a conversation with him. After that you may see him every day, so a friendship could easily develop.
Volunteering/Charity work. Involving yourself in community work of any kind is likely to bring you into contact with other caring, considerate people, many if whom will be men. It will be quite easy to become friendly with a nice guy who could be partner material.
Hardware or Technical stores. These places are typically male domains. Play the helpless female and ask for advice. They will love to show off their knowledge. Obviously they won’t all be available, but chances are that there will be some who will fit the bill, so think up some chat-up lines.
If you want to know where to meet good men, the answer is just about anywhere, but I have highlighted my top 10 places to seek them out. Wherever you go, always be ready with a smile and watch out for opportunities to start up a conversation. You will soon have good men falling at your feet.
If you are struggling to find that special person to have in your life, check out this video from Noah Hammond.
He gives some great advice on how to meet people and create romance.
There are certain characteristics that men in general are looking for in a relationship. It is not all about looking good and laughing at all his jokes, but it goes deeper than that if the relationship is to last. If you want to know how to be a good girlfriend, here are my tips:
Show appreciation. Always acknowledge the things he does for you, whether big or small. He will love to know that he is pleasing you and that you have noticed the effort he is going to.
Be open. Don’t be distant and secretive. Be affectionate and demonstrative with your feelings, smile and laugh a lot, talk to each other and use positive body language. He will love you more for making him feel good about himself and be able to see potential in the relationship.
Like Yourself. Women who are comfortable with themselves are much more attractive to men. He does not enjoy constantly having to boost your ego or listen to you pull yourself down. Learn to love yourself first and your man will love you back.
Don’t play mind games. Men like to know exactly where they stand, so don’t expect him to second-guess what it is you want. Always be clear and upfront with your wants and needs so that he knows what you are asking of him.
Don’t over-criticize him. Men, like women, need approval. If you are always criticizing him, he may feel that he can never please you, so will start to pull away. Instead of criticizing, tell him what he does well and he will automatically want to do more.
Don’t take advantage. The old-fashioned attitude that the man should pay for everything does not stand in today’s world. Although a lot of men do like to treat their girlfriend to a meal or drinks when they first start dating, in the long term they are looking for someone who can be a mate on equal terms, so do not take advantage of his generosity.
Keep some independence. Being too needy and wanting to spend every minute together can be a big turn-off. Make sure you have your own interests outside of the relationship so that he can too. Everyone needs some space to do their own thing and spend time with their friends.
Show respect for him and men in general. Take time to get to know him as an individual and don’t automatically assume that he is the same as other men you may have come across before. Accept his past and don’t make an issue over what he did before he met you. Respect his beliefs even if you don’t agree with them.
Be yourself. Don’t hide behind alcohol or drugs. If he thinks that you need to be drunk to have a good time then your relationship will be short-lived. He needs to know you as a real person if he is going to spend a lot of time with you and introduce you to his family and friends.
Have a good sense of humour. The ability to laugh together is a great aphrodisiac. If you can see the funny side of situations instead of being stressed and serious all of the time, then this will make your time together much more fun and memorable. Being with someone who rarely laughs and is miserable will gradually wear him down.
Now that you know my top tips on how to be a good girlfriend, you can get to work on making your relationship special so that it lasts forever.
There will come a point in your relationship when you feel completely at ease in each others company and are feeling ready to take things to another level. Hopefully you have discussed the past and know each others sexual history and are comfortable with the idea of making love for the first time.
Here are a few guidelines that will help:
Chill out. It is quite likely that you will feel a bit nervous, that is natural – but do not get over-anxious otherwise things could end in failure (especially for the man). Just take it easy and lower your expectations – first time sex is not about trying to impress and put on a show, it is about exploring each others bodies and getting to know them better.
Be prepared. If you have an inkling that “tonight will be the night”, make sure that you are ready. If you are going back to your place, make sure that everywhere is clean and tidy and you have clean sheets on the bed. Make sure you have his/her favourite drink in and something for breakfast. Have some condoms where you can easily get at them.
Create a comfortable and relaxed atmosphere.
It goes without saying that you should be clean and smell good.
Communicate. Sex is rarely perfect (only in the movies). You need to tell each other what you like. Different people respond to different things, so what worked well with a previous partner will not necessarily go down well this time. So have fun finding out and don’t be scared of saying that you are not enjoying something or asking for something different. Make sure that there is some give and take so that you both get pleasure from each other.
Have a laugh. Don’t get embarrassed if things go wrong (anyone can get cramp at inopportune moments!
A sense of humour is an appealing quality in anyone. You may cringe at the time but it could be something that you might look back on some time in the future when reminiscing – “Do you remember the time….”
Remember there always has to be a first time for everything, it may be wonderful or it may not. Now that you know how to make the first time a success, the second time will come much easier as you relax and can concentrate on perfecting your technique.
Starting out on the singles market can be very daunting, especially if you haven’t done it for a while. It is important not to just launch yourself out there as soon as you are free again otherwise you will end up making more huge mistakes with your life.
Make sure you are really ready before you even begin. This will ensure that you have a greater chance of success.
So how do you know if you are ready to start dating?
The first thing to look at is the past. Have you completely moved on from your last break-up? If you are still thinking about your previous partner and wishing you were still together, remembering all the good times you had and forgetting why you broke up in the first place, then you are not ready.
You need to give yourself time to grieve for your old relationship. Have a good cry, get rid of all the anger and hurt. Forgive yourself and your previous partner for any wrong-doings and accept that there is no going back. Once you have done this then you will find it easier to move on.
The next thing you need to do is learn to love yourself and be happy in your own skin and with your own company. If you are looking to meet someone just because you don’t like being on your own and are desperate for company, then you are very likely to have some disasters.
If you take some time to nurture yourself, do things that you enjoy doing, spend time with family and friends and create a life for yourself that does not need to involve someone else, but would be enhanced by sharing, then you will have more chance of meeting someone who is right for you.
If you do not have respect for yourself and your own life, you will most likely end up meeting losers or seeing people who are on a completely different wavelength. This will inevitably lead to more heartache as things don’t work out between you or, worse still, you will end up in a relationship where you are not completely happy.
Before you even think about going on a date, you need to make sure that your self-confidence is well-boosted. If you are feeling good about yourself you will attract good people into your life. Check on your appearance and make any necessary adjustments. If you need to lose weight, make an effort to start now. Get a new hairstyle and some new clothes. Work on your fitness levels. Become the best version of you that you can be.
If you can’t be bothered to make an effort with yourself, no-one else decent will want to bother with you either.
So if you were wondering “how do you know if you are ready to start dating?” The answer is “When you have done all of these things.” Then it is safe to say that you are ready to launch yourself on the singles market.
Sex is a vital part of a satisfying relationship, so if you feel that you have found the right one and the relationship is getting serious, you both need to be open and truthful when talking about past sexual relationships.
Make sure you have given yourselves enough time to get to know each other first
before choosing a comfortable and private place where you can have a frank and honest discussion about your past sexual history.
Decide to be honest with each other and try not to feel awkward about disclosing your most intimate details, but on the other hand don’t go into too much detail which could possible make you both feel uncomfortable.
If your partner confesses to having had many previous sexual partners, don’t be too judgmental and jump to conclusions, it does not necessarily mean that he/she has been or will be unfaithful, just appreciate the fact that they are being honest.
As much as we don’t like to think about it, it is important that you discuss STD’s
and if either of you have any doubts, you should agree together to be tested before
embarking on a sexual relationship together. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have faith
in each other, it simply means that you are being responsible because you care about each other.
A happy and fulfilling sex life is an enhancement to any close relationship, but do make sure that you get to know each other completely before getting too intimate. It is always best to be honest in every aspect of your life together if the relationship is going to flourish and last.
Don’t allow yourself to be pressurised into having sex before you feel that you are ready. If one of you wants to go further and the other doesn’t, it is important to respect the other persons feelings and not push them into it.
If the relationship is truly sound, then waiting a bit longer is no big deal
and will earn respect from your partner.
If your partner refuses to wait for you to be ready, then it may be time to have a closer look at the relationship and question whether they are the right person for you.
Finding new love is a very exciting time with lots of things to learn and discover about each other, but do make sure that you have this very important discussion and give yourselves the opportunity for talking about past sexual relationships before getting more intimate together.
Top 10 tips for successful dating – When you start dating, following a few rules will help you to be successful and hopefully go on to meet that special person who will become part of your life.
Dating is not easy – first dates are awkward, second dates are expectant and subsequent ones, when two people are really getting to know each other, present hundreds of opportunities to blow it by making mistakes and blunders.
Here are my Top 10 Tips for Successful Dating
Do make an effort to look your best and be punctual. Being late or looking untidy gives the impression that you don’t care – if that’s the case, why bother to meet this person in the first place?
Do try to enjoy yourself when out on a date. You may feel a little apprehensive and nervous, but it is likely your date will feel the same, so try not to let those feelings spoil your time together. Remember, it is supposed to be fun and not too serious.
Do pay your date a compliment. Most men and women make a lot of effort into getting ready for a date, so it is nice and flattering to know that all that effort has paid off.
Do try and be interested and interesting. Ask your date questions about themselves, share insights and make sure that you pay attention when your date is telling you something.
Do date only people that you are interested in and try and not be influenced by what your friends think.
Do be honest with your date if you are not interested in seeing them again. Stringing them along just because you are too scared to let them down is very unfair and will become more difficult the longer you let it go on.
Do be proactive about finding people to date. Your ideal partner is not going to come knocking at your door, so you need to get out and about and meet as many people as you can. Successful dating requires action.
Do stay positive even when things don’t go well. Every date will not be a success, you will quite likely have to date a few frogs before you find prince.
Do plan ahead. Dating requires concentration and energy, so make sure you have given yourself enough time to be properly prepared and let your date know that you have put some thought into the meeting.
Do surround yourself with positive people. Dating is fun and it is good to have someone to share your experiences with and laugh or cry with.
If you follow my top 10 tips for successful dating, then before too long you will achieve dating success. You may have some disappointments along he way, but if you handle yourself properly there is a very good chance that things will work out for you in the end.
When you are just starting out with dating, it can be quite exciting getting to meet lots of new single people. The idea of knowing how to turn down a second date probably doesn’t enter your head initially. But what if you don’t like the person or they just are not what you are looking for?
As the date comes to an end, the subject of a second date is likely to come up, you have no wish to see them again, but also you don’t want to hurt their feelings by rejecting them, so how do you turn down a second date kindly?
This is a skill that you will need to learn once you start dating. Not everyone you meet will be suitable for you and you will need to be ready and know how to turn down a second date before things have the opportunity to develop into something you don’t really want.
Here are my tips on how to turn down a second date:
Honesty is always the best policy. If you don’t want another date, you must say so. If you agree to a second date when you know that you don’t want to take this relationship any further, then you are only prolonging the inevitable, you will have to turn them down at some point and the longer you allow it to go on, the harder it will be. The other person may feel differently to you and be getting false hopes, so it will become much harder to back away if he or she has formed an attachment to you. The majority of people will appreciate your honesty and will be very upset if you string them along for several dates and then let them down.
Try and formulate a plan in your mind before the date of what to say if things do not work out how you had hoped. Have a script in your mind and try and stick to it, this will help to stop you from saying the wrong thing due to nerves or backing out at the last minute.
Never make assumptions. It is easy to assume that you will be hurting the other person by turning them down. If the date didn’t go very well anyway, the chances are that the other person didn’t enjoy it either. They are probably worrying in the same way as you about how to turn down a second date.
Keep your tone friendly. Tell them nicely that you enjoyed getting to know them on your first date, thank them for coming, but say that you can’t see a future together for whatever reason. Wish them well and part on friendly terms, this will help to prevent any future hostility. You don’t have to give them any details as to why you don’t think you are compatible – just be as vague as you can be, that is okay, but do not be impolite or rude.
If you really can’t bring yourself to tell them face to face that you don’t want to see them again, write them a nice letter straight after the date, thanking them for their company, explaining that you don’t think you are compatible and wishing them well. Some people prefer to send a text message, but personally I think this is a bit impersonal and would recommend a bit more of a personal touch.
It is always best to be honest in all situations, things can easily get out of hand if you let them. It is far better to know how to turn down a second date and stick to your guns than to prolong a relationship that you know is not going anywhere from the start.
When you start meeting new guys you will come across all types. There will be the good, the mediocre and the bad. Initially you may rely on physical attraction, but you should not let the fact that he is good-looking cloud your judgement. There are lots of things that are far more important in a relationship and you need to know how to tell if he’s a good man.
Here are my top signs to look out for when meeting new guys to help you learn how to tell if he’s a good man:
Use your intuition. The human race is equipped with instincts to help protect its survival. If something about the guy doesn’t feel right then trust your gut feelings.
Notice how he listens to you. If he is a genuine, caring guy he should listen attentively while you talk, wait for you to finish and ask questions. This shows that he is genuinely interested in what you are saying.
Notice how he treats others. A good man should be polite to the people around him.
Notice how he interacts with waiters in a restaurant or bar staff, how he treats your friends and family and particularly how he treats other women. A good man should be respectful and considerate to all women.
Notice what his attitude to life is. If he is negative and pessimistic about things and finds it difficult to find anything positive to say or do, then he could end up dragging you down with him. A good man will try and look at the positives in a situation and look for solutions.
Is he open and honest with you? A good man will be happy to share his inner-most thoughts and feelings with you and understands that hiding things will cause frustration and misunderstanding. He should also be able to make you feel comfortable being honest with him.
Does he try hard to gain your trust? A good man understands that trust must be earned and kept and will work hard to make sure you feel comfortable and confident in your relationship. If there is no trust there is no foundation for respect or love.
Does he make you feel beautiful? A good man understands that a woman needs to feel beautiful. His actions should speak as loudly as his words – the way he looks at you, touches you and treats you will say as much as what he says.
A good man will never be abusive. If he is abusive toward you in any way, whether it is verbal, mental, emotional or physical, then he is not a good man and you should walk straight out of the relationship. Do not give him a second chance, people like this never change.
These are just initial pointers to look out for when meeting new guys and will help to guide you on how to tell if he’s a good man during your first few meetings. If any of these things are not right in this initial stage, then I would suggest that you walk away and look for someone else. You deserve the best, so never settle for anything less.
When a relationship comes to an end it is never easy, but when you are not the one who wants to end it, it will feel a whole lot worse. You will need to have coping strategies in place to help when dealing with rejection.
You will undoubtedly feel regret, loss, hurt and sadness, not to mention loss of confidence, so when it’s all over how do you bounce back and get over those awful feelings of loss and desolation?
Follow my tips to help you to begin rebuilding your life, take it slowly and accept that time will heal. Dealing with rejection is hard and it will take some time, but you need to start taking some small, positive steps which will help you to start the process of recovery.
Accept that the relationship is over. Don’t try and fool yourself that things might work themselves out and you could get back together – this most likely is not going to happen. Don’t torture yourself with “what if’s”, this is pointless, what’s done is done. You cannot start the healing process until you have truly let go and accepted that it is over for good.
Have a really good cry. This will help to release a lot of stress and weight inside your heart
Stop crying . When you have cried your eyes out, make yourself stop and pull yourself together. You will naturally be feeling a knock in your confidence and self-esteem, but don’t wallow in your misery. Try not to take it personally, just accept that that person just was not right for you. Interact with other people and find things to do to keep you busy. Try and keep yourself away from things that remind you of them.
Find some new interests just for you which were not easy to do when in a relationship. Maybe there is something you always fancied trying – learning to dance, a new language, travelling, evening classes, join a gym, go swimming – the world is your oyster! Try and inject some fun into what you do and change your routine – this will lift your spirits and energy levels and change your focus.
Why not try online dating or join a dating agency. You’re probably not ready for a new intense love affair just yet, but your social life may need a boost. You can make new friends of either sex – find someone to go out for a meal with, to the cinema or theatre or just meet up for a drink or a coffee and chat. It’s possible that they may have been through a similar break-up and will understand how you feel, so you will create a new bond and a new friend. You don’t have to rush straight into a relationship, new friends are a great way starting up a new social life and moving forward.
Re-think your technique. If you’ve had a few rejections in a row, maybe it’s time to have a look at your technique and see if you can do anything differently.
Have a look at your clothes and appearance and make sure you are giving the right message. Dress appropriately for your age or figure. Make sure you are smart, neat and tidy and sweet-smelling. These simple things can make all the difference.
Think about what you say and how you say things – occasionally some words or phrases can be misconstrued as being rude or insulting to some people.
What is your overall manner like – do you have a tendency to be too defensive and cautious, too pushy or too reserved? Try to be always open and friendly.
Take a good look at yourself and change things if you can. People who have the most success always adjust and improve their game plan until they get it right.
Treat every date as if it were your first Never carry over the hurt and rejection from a past date into your next date. Remember your new date does not know what happened last time and has absolutely nothing to do with it. Try and start off with a positive attitude. If you go with a negative attitude, it is likely that this will affect the way you date sees you and reacts to you, so will inevitably lead to yet another rejection. It is all too easy to get yourself into this destructive cycle.
When dating it is very likley that at some point things will go wrong. Dealing with rejection is all part of it. You have to learn from your experiences and bounce back. Who knows, your next date might be the one you have been waiting for.
When you’ve got a date, it’s very exciting. Common sense can go out of the window and leave you in a panic if things go wrong. So be prepared and have a checklist of what to take with you on a date. It is always best to be ready for any eventuality before going on a date, which will save you a lot of stress and will also impress your date. So here are my suggestions of what to take with you on a date.
Never leave home without…..
Mobile phone. If things don’t go according to plan and you’re running late or can’t make it at the last minute, if you need to call a taxi at the end of your date or, particularly for a woman, for security, a phone is an essential item to take with you on a date.
Make sure you know exactly where you are supposed to be meeting. Get the address and directions to the location in advance to save last minute panicking.
Take a sense of humour with you . Not an actual object of course, but if you are unable to laugh and enjoy yourself regardless of how the date turns out, the date is likely to be ruined before you even start.
An umbrella is always handy. When you’ve spent hours getting ready, there’s nothing worse than a shower of rain to ruin everything.
Take common sense and trust in equal amounts. You obviously need to be on the alert if things don’t ring true with your date and be able to spot any danger signals, but initially you must trust them and remember that people are innocent until proved guilty. Don’t have the attitude that your new date is as bad as your ex otherwise you will never move on.
Take a small notebook or pocket diary and pen if you don’t have this facility on your phone. This will help you when arranging a subsequent date and you will be able to make a note of their phone number.
If you are attending a concert or other event, make sure you have the tickets in advance if you are the one arranging things and don’t forget to take them with you.
This one is a bit controversial, but I would recommend having some condoms with you (men and women). Though I would never advise anyone to have sex on a first date, it does happen and it makes sense to be prepared.
And finally, don’t forget your own personality. First dates can be quite daunting and can leave you nervous and tongue-tied, but try and relax and enjoy the date. Don’t forget it is your dates first meeting with you too, so you are both likely to be feeling the same.Try to have fun and just let the conversation flow naturally.
So now that you know what to take with you on a date you can concentrate on relaxing secure in the knowledge that you are well-prepared should anything go wrong.
Did you know that there can be wrong reasons for getting into a relationship? Do your relationships generally fail, even though you feel that you’ve done nothing wrong? Maybe you need to stop and think about whether you are getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons. There is no doubt about it life can often seem better if you are part of a couple, but being with the wrong person can turn out to be much worse than being on your own.
Here are 3 wrong reasons for getting into a relationship:
1. You are lonely. This is a very common mistake. Lots of people hang on to their current partner out of a sheer fear of loneliness, even if they are not being treated with respect, they feel that a bad relationship is better than no relationship at all. You owe it to yourself to end a relationship that is not a good one, even if it means time spent on your own. Use this time to think about what you really want out of life and set about achieving it.
2. Peer pressure. Lots of people get into a relationship because all of their friends are pairing off and they feel they are getting left behind. It can be quite depressing if you are not experiencing the same pleasure as they do and may feel that there is something wrong with you because it is not happening for you. Don’t be pressured into getting into a relationship with someone who isn’t really suitable just because you don’t want to be left behind. Enjoy being single, focus on your own hobbies and interests and be happy just being you. You will find that love will come to find you once you are happy being yourself.
3. Feeling you’re missing something. It’s very easy to rush into a relationship because you feel you’re missing something and think that “something” is someone of the opposite sex. But once you get into a relationship, you may often find that the empty space is still there. Focus on filling your life with friends, family, fun. Try out some new interests, go to some new places, meet some new people. One person cannot fill every space in your life, so you need to find out for yourself other things that can fulfill you.
If you get into a relationship for the wrong reason, it is very unlikely to last or be a happy one and will inevitably cause heartache in the future. When you are ready to get into a relationship, make sure that you do so because you want to, not because you need to. The right reasons are much better than the wrong reasons for getting into a relationship and will stand a much better chance of being successful.